2010
臉書上看到朋友轉(zhuǎn)的一篇文章，無(wú)比贊同。重新編輯了格式轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)到小花生，粗略翻譯了一下，和大家分享。說(shuō)起來(lái)是“粗略”，實(shí)際上還是用了我全部的午休。所以請(qǐng)尊重翻譯的勞動(dòng)，轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)使用小花生日志鏈接，謝謝！
Why Are Kids Impatient, Bored, Friendless, and Entitled?
Jacqueline
January 12, 2018
“Kids today are in a devastating emotional state! Most come to school emotionally unavailable for learning. There are many factors in our modern lifestyle that contribute to this.” ~V.P.
“今天的孩子處于一種毀滅性的情緒狀態(tài)！大多數(shù)人來(lái)到學(xué)校在情緒上無(wú)法學(xué)習(xí)。我們現(xiàn)代生活方式中有很多因素導(dǎo)致了這個(gè)局面?！?V.P.
In her practice, my friend Victoria Prooday, OT is seeing something so widespread and alarming that I asked if I could share her thoughts. Due to the overwhelming interest and conversation on this topic, I am re-sharing her post.
我的朋友職業(yè)治療師 Victoria Prooday 在她的實(shí)踐中看到如此普遍存在和令人震驚的情況，我問(wèn)我是否可以分享她的想法。由于對(duì)這個(gè)主題的巨大興趣和討論，我在這里給您分享她的帖子。
I encourage every parent who cares about the future of his/her children to read it. I know that many would choose not to hear what she says in the article, but your children need you to hear this message.
我鼓勵(lì)每一位關(guān)心他/她孩子未來(lái)的父母閱讀這個(gè)帖子。我知道很多人會(huì)選擇不聽她在文章中說(shuō)的話，但你的孩子需要你聽到這個(gè)消息。
Victoria writes:
維多利亞是這樣寫的：
I am an occupational therapist with years of experience working with children, parents, and teachers. I completely agree with this teacher’s message that our children are getting worse and worse in many aspects.
我是一名職業(yè)治療師，擁有多年與兒童，父母和老師合作的經(jīng)驗(yàn)。我完全同意這位老師的信息，即我們的孩子在很多方面都變得越來(lái)越糟。
I hear the same consistent message from every teacher I meet. Clearly, throughout my time as an Occupational Therapist, I have seen and continue to see a decline in children’s social, emotional, and academic functioning, as well as a sharp increase in learning disabilities and other diagnoses.
我聽到每個(gè)老師遇到的同樣一致的信息。很明顯，在我作為職業(yè)治療師的整個(gè)過(guò)程中，我已經(jīng)看到并繼續(xù)看到兒童的社交，情感和學(xué)業(yè)功能下降，以及學(xué)習(xí)障礙和其他診斷的急劇增加。
As we know, the brain is malleable. Through environment, we can make the brain “stronger” or make it “weaker”. I truly believe that, despite all our greatest intentions, we unfortunately remold our children’s brains in the wrong direction.
眾所周知，大腦是可塑的。通過(guò)環(huán)境，我們可以使大腦“更強(qiáng)大”或使其“變?nèi)酢薄Ｎ艺娴南嘈牛M管我們有著最美好的意愿，但不幸的是，我們將孩子們的大腦改錯(cuò)了方向。
1. KIDS GET EVERYTHING THEY WANT WHEN THEY WANT IT
孩子們得到一切他們想要的東西
“I am Hungry!!” “In a sec I will stop at the drive thru” “I am Thirsty!” “Here is a vending machine.” “I am bored!” “Use my phone!” The ability to delay gratification is one of the key factors for future success. We have the best intentions — to make our child happy — but unfortunately, we make them happy at the moment but miserable in the long term. To be able to delay gratification means to be able to function under stress. Our children are gradually becoming less equipped to deal with even minor stressors, which eventually become huge obstacles to their success in life.
“我很餓!!”“我會(huì)在一秒鐘內(nèi)停在車道上”“我渴了！”“這是一臺(tái)自動(dòng)售貨機(jī)。”“我很無(wú)聊！”“使用我的手機(jī)！”延遲滿足的能力是未來(lái)成功的關(guān)鍵因素之一。我們有最大的意愿 - 讓我們的孩子快樂(lè) - 但不幸的是，我們現(xiàn)在讓他們開心，但從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來(lái)看卻很悲慘。能夠延遲滿足意味著能夠在壓力下發(fā)揮作用。我們的孩子逐漸變得不那么有能力應(yīng)對(duì)甚至是輕微的壓力因素，這最終成為他們生活成功的巨大障礙。
The inability to delay gratification is often seen in classrooms, malls, restaurants, and toy stores the moment the child hears “No” because parents have taught their child’s brain to get what it wants right away.
通常在教室，商場(chǎng)，餐館和玩具店看不到孩子聽到“不”以后有延遲滿足的能力，因?yàn)楦改敢呀?jīng)把他們孩子的大腦訓(xùn)練成必須立即得到他們想要的東西。
2. LIMITED SOCIAL INTERACTION
有限的社會(huì)互動(dòng)
We are all busy, so we give our children digital gadgets and make them “busy” too. Kids used to play outside, where, in unstructured natural environments, they learned and practiced their social skills. Unfortunately, technology replaced the outdoor time. Also, technology made the parents less available to socially interact with their child. Obviously, our kids fall behind… the babysitting gadget is not equipped to help kids develop social skills. Most successful people have great social skills. This is the priority!
我們都很忙，所以我們給孩子們提供數(shù)碼產(chǎn)品，讓他們也“忙”起來(lái)。孩子們過(guò)去常常在戶外玩耍，在非結(jié)構(gòu)化的自然環(huán)境中，他們學(xué)習(xí)并練習(xí)社交技巧。不幸的是，高科技取代了戶外時(shí)間。此外，高科技使父母不太可以與孩子進(jìn)行社交互動(dòng)。顯然，我們的孩子退步了......保姆小工具沒(méi)有能力幫助孩子發(fā)展社交技能。大多數(shù)成功人士都有很好的社交技巧。這是先決條件！
The brain is just like a muscle that is trainable and re-trainable. If you want your child to be able to bike, you teach him biking skills. If you want your child to be able to wait, you need to teach that child patience. If you want your child to be able to socialize, you need to teach him social skills. The same applies to all the other skills. There is no difference!
大腦就像可訓(xùn)練和可重新訓(xùn)練的肌肉。如果您希望您的孩子能夠騎車，您可以教他騎自行車的技巧。如果您希望您的孩子能夠等待，您需要教孩子耐心。如果您希望您的孩子能夠進(jìn)行社交，您需要教他社交技巧。這同樣適用于所有其他技能。沒(méi)有區(qū)別！
3. ENDLESS FUN
無(wú)盡的樂(lè)趣
We have created an artificial fun world for our children. There are no dull moments. The moment it becomes quiet, we run to entertain them again, because otherwise, we feel that we are not doing our parenting duty. We live in two separate worlds. They have their “fun” world, and we have our “work” world. Why aren’t children helping us in the kitchen or with laundry? Why don’t they tidy up their toys? This is basic monotonous work that trains the brain to be workable and function under “boredom,” which is the same “muscle” that is required to be eventually teachable at school. When they come to school and it is time for handwriting their answer is “I can’t. It is too hard. Too boring.” Why? Because the workable “muscle” is not getting trained through endless fun. It gets trained through work.
我們?nèi)藶榈亟o孩子們營(yíng)造了一個(gè)充滿樂(lè)趣的世界。在那里沒(méi)有一刻是沉悶的。一旦那個(gè)時(shí)刻變得安靜，我們沖過(guò)去提供更多的娛樂(lè)，因?yàn)榉駝t的話，我們覺(jué)得我們沒(méi)有履行我們的養(yǎng)育責(zé)任。我們生活在兩個(gè)不同的世界。他們有他們自己“有趣”的世界，我們有我們自己“工作”的世界。為什么孩子們不在廚房或洗衣房幫助我們？他們?yōu)槭裁床徽硗婢?？這是一項(xiàng)基本的單調(diào)工作，訓(xùn)練大腦在“無(wú)聊”下工作和運(yùn)作，這是最終在學(xué)校完成學(xué)業(yè)需要的“肌肉”。當(dāng)他們來(lái)到學(xué)校并且需要手寫的時(shí)候，他們的回答是“我做不到。這太難了。太無(wú)聊了?！盀槭裁?？因?yàn)闊o(wú)盡的玩樂(lè)無(wú)法令用來(lái)工作的“肌肉”得到訓(xùn)練。只有工作才能訓(xùn)練它。
4. TECHNOLOGY
科技
Using technology as a “Free babysitting service” is, in fact, not free at all. The payment is waiting for you just around the corner. We pay with our kids’ nervous systems, with their attention, and with their ability for delayed gratification. Compared to virtual reality, everyday life is boring. When kids come to the classroom, they are exposed to human voices and adequate visual stimulation as opposed to being bombarded with the graphic explosions and special effects that they are used to seeing on the screens. After hours of virtual reality, processing information in a classroom becomes increasingly challenging for our kids because their brains are getting used to the high levels of stimulation that video games provide. The inability to process lower levels of stimulation leaves kids vulnerable to academic challenges. Technology also disconnects us emotionally from our children and our families. Parental emotional availability is the main nutrient for child’s brain. Unfortunately, we are gradually depriving our children of that nutrient.
事實(shí)上，將技術(shù)用作“免費(fèi)保姆服務(wù)”根本不是免費(fèi)的。這筆帳遲早要付。我們用孩子的神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)，他們的注意力以及他們延遲滿足的能力付出代價(jià)。與虛擬現(xiàn)實(shí)相比，日常生活很無(wú)聊。當(dāng)孩子們來(lái)到教室時(shí)，他們會(huì)接觸到人類的聲音和足夠的視覺(jué)刺激，而不是被他們習(xí)慣在屏幕上看到的圖形爆炸和特殊效果所轟炸。經(jīng)過(guò)數(shù)小時(shí)的虛擬現(xiàn)實(shí)，在課堂上處理信息對(duì)我們的孩子來(lái)說(shuō)變得越來(lái)越具有挑戰(zhàn)性，因?yàn)樗麄兊拇竽X已經(jīng)習(xí)慣了視頻游戲提供的高水平刺激。無(wú)法處理較低水平的刺激會(huì)使孩子容易受到學(xué)業(yè)挑戰(zhàn)。技術(shù)也切段了我們?cè)谇楦猩吓c我們的孩子和家人的溝通。父母的情感可用性是孩子大腦的主要營(yíng)養(yǎng)素。不幸的是，我們逐漸剝奪了孩子們的營(yíng)養(yǎng)。
5. KIDS RULE THE WORLD
兒童統(tǒng)治世界
“My son doesn’t like vegetables.” “She doesn’t like going to bed early.” “He doesn’t like to eat breakfast.” “She doesn’t like toys, but she is very good at her iPad” “He doesn’t want to get dressed on his own.” “She is too lazy to eat on her own.” This is what I hear from parents all the time. Since when do children dictate to us how to parent them? If we leave it all up to them, all they are going to do is eat macaroni and cheese and bagels with cream cheese, watch TV, play on their tablets, and never go to bed.
“我的兒子不喜歡蔬菜?！薄八幌矚g早睡?！薄八幌矚g吃早餐?！薄八幌矚g玩具，但她非常擅長(zhǎng) iPad” “他不想自己穿衣服?！薄八龖械米约撼燥?。” 這是我一直聽到父母的話。從什么時(shí)候開始，孩子們向我們指示如何養(yǎng)育他們？如果我們把這個(gè)責(zé)任全部交由他們，他們所要做的就是吃通心粉和奶酪和涂了奶油芝士的貝果，看電視，玩平板電腦，永不上床睡覺(jué)。
What good are we doing them by giving them what they WANT when we know that it is not GOOD for them? Without proper nutrition and a good night’s sleep, our kids come to school irritable, anxious, and inattentive. In addition, we send them the wrong message. They learn they can do what they want and not do what they don’t want.
我們明明知道孩子想要的對(duì)他們沒(méi)有好處，但我們卻滿足了他們，這樣有什么好處呢？如果沒(méi)有適當(dāng)?shù)臓I(yíng)養(yǎng)和良好的睡眠，我們的孩子會(huì)上學(xué)煩躁，焦慮和不專心。另外，我們給予他們錯(cuò)誤的信號(hào)。他們知道自己可以想做就做，不想做就不做。
The concept of “need to do” is absent. Unfortunately, in order to achieve our goals in our lives, we have to do what’s necessary, which may not always be what we want to do. For example, if a child wants to be an A student, he needs to study hard. If he wants to be a successful soccer player, he needs to practice every day. Our children know very well what they want, but have a very hard time doing what is necessary to achieve that goal. This results in unattainable goals and leaves the kids disappointed.
沒(méi)有“需要做”的概念。不幸的是，為了實(shí)現(xiàn)我們生活中的目標(biāo)，該做的事情就得做，而這些事情我們本身并不一定愿意。例如，如果孩子想成為全優(yōu)學(xué)生，他必須努力學(xué)習(xí)。如果他想成為一名成功的足球運(yùn)動(dòng)員，他需要每天練習(xí)。我們的孩子非常清楚他們想要什么，但是很難做到實(shí)現(xiàn)這個(gè)目標(biāo)所必需的。這導(dǎo)致目標(biāo)無(wú)法實(shí)現(xiàn)，從而令孩子失望。
TRAIN THEIR BRAIN
訓(xùn)練他們的大腦
You can make a difference in your child’s life by training your child’s brain so that your child will successfully function on social, emotional, and academic levels. Here is how:
您可以通過(guò)訓(xùn)練孩子的大腦來(lái)改變孩子的生活，使您的孩子在社交，情感和學(xué)術(shù)水平上成功。方法如下：
1. Don’t be afraid to set the limits. Kids need limits to grow happy and healthy!!
不要害怕設(shè)定限制。孩子們需要限制才能快樂(lè)健康！
? Make a schedule for meal times, sleep times, technology time
給用餐時(shí)間，睡眠時(shí)間，高科技時(shí)間訂個(gè)計(jì)劃
? Think of what is GOOD for them- not what they WANT/DON’T WANT. They are going to thank you for that later on in life. Parenting is a hard job. You need to be creative to make them do what is good for them because, most of the time, that is the exact opposite of what they want.
想想對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)什么是好的 —— 而不是他們想要/不想要的東西。他們將在以后的生活中感謝你。育兒是一項(xiàng)艱苦的工作。你需要有創(chuàng)造力才能讓他們做對(duì)他們有益的事情，因?yàn)樵诖蠖鄶?shù)情況下，這與他們想要的完全相反。
? Kids need breakfast and nutritious food. They need to spend time outdoor and go to bed at a consistent time in order to come to school available for learning the next day!
孩子們需要早餐和有營(yíng)養(yǎng)的食品。他們需要花時(shí)間在戶外，每天在固定的時(shí)間上床睡覺(jué)，以便第二天可以去學(xué)校正常學(xué)習(xí)！
? Convert things that they don’t like doing/trying into fun, emotionally stimulating games
將他們不喜歡做的事情轉(zhuǎn)化為有趣的、激發(fā)情感的游戲
2. Limit technology, and re-connect with your kids emotionally
限制高科技產(chǎn)品，在情感上與您的孩子重新建立聯(lián)系
? Surprise them with flowers, share a smile, tickle them, put a love note in their backpack or under their pillow, surprise them by taking them out for lunch on a school day, dance together, crawl together, have pillow fights
用鮮花給他們驚喜，分享微笑，給他們撓癢癢；在他們的背包或枕頭下放一份充滿愛(ài)意的便條；在上學(xué)的那天帶他們吃午飯來(lái)個(gè)小驚喜，一起跳舞，一起爬，一起用枕頭打鬧。
? Have family dinners, board game nights (see the list of my favorite board games), go biking, go to outdoor walks with a flashlight in the evening
組織家庭聚餐，棋盤游戲之夜（參見我最喜歡的棋盤游戲列表），騎自行車，晚上打著手電去戶外散步
3. Train delayed gratification
訓(xùn)練延遲滿足
? Make them wait!!! It is ok to have “I am bored” time – this is the first step to creativity
讓他們等待！有 “我很無(wú)聊”的時(shí)候是很正常的 - 這是創(chuàng)造力的第一步
? Gradually increase the waiting time between “I want” and “I get”
逐漸增加“我想要”和“我得到”之間的等待時(shí)間
? Avoid technology use in cars and restaurants, and instead teach them waiting while talking and playing games
避免在汽車和餐館中使用高科技，取而代之的教他們?cè)诘却龝r(shí)學(xué)會(huì)用聊天和玩游戲來(lái)打發(fā)
? Limit constant snacking
限制頻繁的零食
4. Teach your child to do monotonous work from early years as it is the foundation for future “workability”
從幼年就開始教你的孩子做點(diǎn)單調(diào)的工作，因?yàn)樗俏磥?lái)“可操作能力”的基礎(chǔ)
? Folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table, making lunch, unpacking their lunch box, making their bed
折疊衣物，整理玩具，晾衣服，一起給購(gòu)買的日用品打包，擺桌子，做午餐，打包午餐盒，整理床
? Be creative. Initially make it stimulating and fun so that their brain associates it with something positive.
要有創(chuàng)意。激發(fā)產(chǎn)生樂(lè)趣，令大腦與積極的東西聯(lián)系起來(lái)。
5. Teach social skills
教授社交技巧
Teach them turn taking, sharing, losing/winning, compromising, complimenting others, using “please and thank you”
教他們學(xué)會(huì)輪流參與，與人分享，面對(duì)輸贏，嘗試妥協(xié)，贊美他人，使用“請(qǐng)和謝謝你”。
2010
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